"Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently." - Henry Ford
Why is it that after we have failed and made mistakes we do not fix them? Anyone who has seen my "lack of love" life will tell you I am a gamble and very dangerous to be with, "you never know when he will leave" "his focus is never on you" "he wont commit" etc.. I have made the same mistakes over and over again, I acknowledge those mistakes yet I have made them time and again. I hear the same argument over and over and until this most recent time I hadn't realized how damaged I really am. I have done the same thing to every girl I have loved, and similarly the same to everyone I just had to "fill a spot" (sorry to say so, but I have never been known to sugercoat or pull punches so how can I go easy on myself, its pure honesty)
My goal is to be a better person and to do that I must change my habits, as well as the way I see these situations. Im not superman and I dont know everything, but I am willing to put forth the effort to be the best I can. I have made a promise to myself, my future relationship partners, and the world that I will listen to my own advice and actually learn how to fail and grow from it rather than sit and burn in the same fire time and time again.
I can relate with you here. I think it's great that you are wanting to change to better your future, it's very noble. Let me ask you a question. Are you happy with the person you are or are some of the few people in your life not happy with you? I too have the same problems in relationship. Even with my current relationship. I'm not putting all the blaem on myself, but I do usually pick apart the good aspects in someone in order to bring the situation down to a level which I am familiar with. That's why we humans continue doing the same destructive things over and over again. It's not because we haven't learned it's because we like the familiar even if it is poison to us. Don't be too hard on yourself. I am certain you will find a woman who will want you for everything you are and will be someone who will stay if you need to make some changes.
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