nobodys fool?

A lot has been on my mind recently, life has been so hectic and busy I have not been able to sort out my mind (though i must admit its because i keep myself busy so as not to think about certain things) As far as who I am becoming on the inside, I am growing to love him, The guy who doesnt have to fight all the time, and doesnt have to be right all the time, Im not perfect and thats ok, I have my drive, my dream, and a way to get there. I have learned to open myself up to the positives in my life and not just say that things are ok but actually believe it, the dark side of my mind is slowly creeping away as I have been blasted full of optimism with vision. being able to actually see that I am the key to my own happiness and that the people I have surrounded myself with fully support and help me in that has greatly improved my standing in the world. I do believe I have become a better person in the last couple months. Most of my life is working well even with all the struggle and true fight I must go through, my energies are focused in the right direction this time.
The only part of my life I see no control over is in love. It seems to be one thing that i havent made any right decisions in, I am constantly being told how foolish I am and how much of a backstep I am taking but I cant help it really, my passion is focused and I dont see another direction I would even think about wanting to put it. as bad as that may be in my situation its the truth. I see her everywhere and in everything no matter whats happened and will happen. I may be a fool but Im her fool. one that will be stuck in this state of mental dysfunction for some time it seems. I am not the kind of man who gets attached as well known to anyone even remotely close to knowing of me would know, yet i feel a pull in her direction and for the first time since i was a young dumb teenager Idon't want to fight it at all. she inspires me and impresses me every day and i see a light in her that Ive never seen or felt ever before. I know its foolish and I know I may not be making the "best" decisions but they are the ones I know deep in my heart that I should be making, the optimist in me says everything will work out just fine, the pessimist tells me I'm insane, and the realist says "you will never forecast anything, but your drive determination and insanity will work out well"