Memory

We were driving home from a long day. long for me at least. I'd spent my morning being strong for a friend in need, despite the ache I felt in my own chest at the passing of our grumpy ol bastard. She was there to keep me together, which is not an easy thing to do yet she excels at. She always has been such a light in my life, no matter the pain or struggle. She's been through it all. The entire drive home I sat in near silence just listening to the stereo which was producing the sounds of incredible instruments that had shaped our friendship from the beginning I got lost in the memories those sounds sparked for me which inspired me to make this list. All these songs that mean so much to me because they remind me of a moment shared.

https://open.spotify.com/user/mmhavik/playlist/1pTujrGgUpUvSo1oqR04kc

spinning

"What are you doing?" she asks groggily as she pulls herself up to look at him
"Spinning" he responds with a quirky smile on his face "counterclockwise to be exact."
She just looks on wondering what insanity has overtaken the man who had been next to her as she fell asleep "It's 3:33 am, why on earth are you spinning?... clockwise to be exact" she says as she giggles and throws a pillow at him.
"... oh.. I guess I just got dizzy" he quickly states while switching motion to move counterclockwise at an even quicker speed. He continues to spin until it seems he will drill himself into the ground. Then he stops suddenly drops to the ground and triumphantly declares "there, that should fix it!" He looks up that girl he loves so deeply and takes in the sight of her, the quizical look on her face, the hair that has been all messed up from sleeping, no make up, no fancy outfits, just the beautiful woman that robs his thought space for so much of the day. He breathes out slowly and sits down next to her. "Every spin I take counter-clockwise is a moment in time I am trying to save with you." She just stares at him wondering even more how crazy this man might be. "you see each spin takes angular momentum away from the earth.. It makes the earth slow down for .000000001 percent maybe even less than that but I will take every moment whether or not I can measure it so long as I get to be with you. I always tell you I don't want these nights or days to end well I'm doing something to try and help that."
She smiles pulls him in close to kiss and says in between kisses "I... love.. you... but you... are... insane" he responds "Only when it comes to you" she stops and laughs. When he looks at her as if to ask what is so funny she simply says "that was too cheesy, come up with your own material geeze" and they both laugh as they fall into another embrace. Suddenly she stands up grabs his hands and says "well sir insanity, I think it is time we dance, counterclockwise spins only."

A letter to who was worth it

Today I had a very long conversation with one of my mentors and a fellow student who very much sees "the real world" the one where it is ok to dream and ok to say yes to things you love and to follow what makes you happy. Life is long and hard for most everyone why not do things you enjoy along the way? As children we are always told to dream as big as possible and that we can be everything we want to be; president, astronaut, firefighter, ice cream truck driver, pro wrestler, the list goes on and on, but somewhere along the way people start cutting in to your dreams and telling you that its just not possible or that you need to be more "realistic" I ran into so many nay sayers in my life I started to believe them but a lot of small factors, small dreams, single moments in time where I said "Yes" instead of no that have led me to the success and life that I love today.

This is a commemoration of sorts to those people who made an impact on my life and made me who I am today.

Ms. Peck, you showed me that I do have the skills to lead a team and that I am good enough to stand in front of a crowd

Rich Hawkes- you told me my voice was meant to be heard and that I had too much brain power to hide behind written papers and small in class discussions. You told me that I could change the world if I only dedicated myself to and you also showed me that heart and soul, belief is the most powerful thing a person can have

Kay Huntington- You showed me that I truly am meant to be in the front. You helped build the skills of which I have platformed my entire professional career on. Without you. more so than all the rest, I would not be in the position I am in today. One small request for me to join your DECA team changed my life forever.

Jalice Jordan- You may not remember, but a very long time ago you gave me a talk about how great a person I am and that you looked up to people like me. You showed me so much that day I could never really tell you how much it meant to me and how to this day I still can hear what you said

Patrick Chase- My partner in crime for so long I couldnt describe how many ways you inspired the person I have become

Tony Hendricks- You showed me the value of family and tenacity, never letting go of the dream, and always aiming to accomplish your goals

Chris Black- a mentor I could never describe to the fullest extent of how much I look up to. I value your opinion and have more respect for you than could be measured

Dana Graham- You reminded me of what it looks like to be inspired and have drive. You gave me focus and inspired me to get rid of everything in my life that doesn't matter

To the rest of the world remember one thing; to inspire is not something only artists can create, anybody can be an inspiration, a spark, a dream to another person. Build people to be what they can be and together we really will change the world

part 1: awakening

I had a name once, one parents gave to me, it has not been spoken in a very long time nowadays I am known as the storyteller, the book keeper, the maniacal historian and many other like phrased names. I am not picky. Whatever you choose to call me all I ask is that you understand this; This is only a piece of the story, and as it were, it is my version of it. I assure you that everything that follows is exactly how I saw things. You may choose to read another account if you wish but right now you are looking at mine. If by some chance I have already offended you with my attitude by all means continue and be further offended, if not, enjoy this account

What better place to start than the beginning?

The awakening brought forth many dark secrets that had lain underground for millenia. It started with the live transformation of a werewolf on television, spread to the discovery of magick, ghosts, gremlins and goblins, these were just the ones that came out during the day. The nite brought one of the biggest discoveries the weise-nachten, a secret society of vampires that had been enslaving humans for who knows how long. Though, much like everything else in the world(there must be balance after all) there are the positives, the good guys, and the protectors.

When the great awakening happened the world went into disarray. Nobody could trust anyone or anything and anarchy was rampant all over the world. Churches were burned down institutions were destroyed and the collective mind of the world was waiting for the next big surprise.

Many people locked themselves away in fear, others stood to protest(as if you could fight the truth, but hey gotta admire dedication right?), many joined the ranks of what has come to be known as the kaos tangent, A worldwide organization built around using the great awakening to a darker purpose. There are a few silent warriors standing with and fighting for the new greater good. Fighting to obtain control of this new chaos, trying to bring order back into the world utilizing the knowledge they had known for their entire lives, cuz really the great awakening was really an "I told ya so" for these warriors.

Shannon, a wizard in the order of havik, was one of the greatest of these warriors. She was as beautiful as the night sky, but as deadly as the most viscous viper. She was a silent observer of the world who knew the great awakening was coming and had taken the time to prepare for the ensuing chaos. Her partner and closest confidant, the mighty brutus, was also a protector of the best kind. He is the most loyal and loving of all partners shannon could have asked for.

Together Brutus and Shannon helped lock down and gain control of the area now known as Anchor. Through many different battles and challenges they have consistently proven themselves worthy of their positions as leaders in the new age. They have aligned themselves with fellow members of the order of havik, as well as the leviathan, the broship, and the white lotus.

You might ask why or how they came to be as powerful as they are today? well my friends I would tell you to keep quiet and let the story teller tell the story.

In the beginning it seemed like there would be no recovery for the world, all those old movies about zombies and apocalypse(both yet to be proved truth thankfully) maybe even post war pictures painted the picture of what the best areas of the world looked like. It would be in this era that their rise to greatness began. they were not biding their time in some mansion, or underground shelter waiting for the exact moment. they suffered in the same dirt and grime we did. The very first act was one of protection, Shannon had been sleeping when a kaos agent "raid" was being conducted. As the agent neared the area of her resting body a then humble Brutus stood as distraction in hopes of giving her enough time to sneak away. When Shannon actually came to and noticed what was happening she let out a scream that startled the agents who immediately let loose their chaotic power with psychic blasts and lightening. A single bolt hit Brutus and Shannon's Wizard power kicked in, A large pair of Brass Knuckles(capital letters because of their great size) appeared in the sky and crushed the agents. This is why her symbol has become the brass knuckles. She rushed to the side of her fallen partner fear and despair gripping her heart as she approached. She lifted him to her face and laid a kiss on his forehead and began to cry. As her tears reached the head of Brutus he was awakened and laughed at Shannon who was still very shaken by the event. He then assured her that together they would make sure nothing like this would ever happen again not only to them but to the people they love, and then their mission spread as a movement for the entire world.

This is the humble beginning of what may very well be the most important story ever. I shall continue at another date

The greatest gift

Remember when you were a kid and woke up really early to see what presents you had under the tree? The excitement of it all, attacking the wrapping paper like you were on a mission with ferocious intensity to find all the greatest gifts that you toss aside to jump at the next present for?
Now as an adult you get to watch the face of the person you give your gifts to, the light in their eyes, the excitement, the love. Which is the better feeling? some would ask, giving the greatest gift or receiving it?

Well my answer is neither, and both. It is said very often in all the movies and stories about christmas and the christmas spirit but how often do we actually ponder and listen to it? I see that the love behind the gift is the absolute most important part. I have always been the one to "go big or go home" and make or buy the biggest baddest best gift i can find for a person but the last couple of years things have toned down, maybe i have grown up or something. I see that the perfect gift is not something you had to slave over for hours or fight through crowds of insane people to get to but something that simply says "I love you" or "i appreciate you"

The gifts I have kept over the years, the ones I have truly loved and appreciated are not the huge expensive ones but the ones that came with heart, with something that told me that person loves me. I still have cards from my sisters and I have gifts that normally wouldn't mean anything to anyone but because of the thought behind it they mean the world to me.

To me the greatest gifts aren't even the gifts at all but the people that bring that bring them to me.

I love you all, Merry Christmas

2010: against the world

My dear sister, ashes.

There are always a great many memories throughout the years between us, unfortunately this year seems to be a bit short on them. Even if we aren't together very often anymore when we are we are, we are still as close as ever

This year I will take with me memories of concerts, bars, clubs, school, parties, and a whole mess of late nite bad relationship talks(from both sides) Outstanding memories would be the 5FDP show earlier in the year, finally getting you into the bar at area, drinking with you for the first time, the Trapt show, parties at your place, smoking hookah and bullshitting all nite

Ashes, I know that no matter the distance between us, the time apart, you will always be standing behind me when I face the world as I will be for you. I love you dearly my sweet lil sis, Against the world, no matter what

2010: Rebirth

Patrick Chase may be one of my longest lasting friends, but for the past couple of years things havent been to great, that all changed with a phone call in June. That call would change things around amazingly not only our relationship but my life(that is a story for another day)

I am very glad to have such a dedicated person in my life. Patrick has seen the very worst and the very best times of my life. Throughout this year we have shared a great many moments from the photo sessions, bar nites(epic birthday bash!), and TEAM events.

Trick, I am very glad to call myself your friend and very proud to call myself your business partner. You have proven time and again that together we will conquer the world and I look forward to every inch of struggle because I know no matter what the two of us will pull it off or die trying.

Oh and you have amazing THUG AIM